1. Nkoye abantu abelaba mu mirror ya Cairo Bank. That’s not a dressing mirror (I’m fed up of people who check themselves out using the Cairo Bank wall pane. It’s not a dressing mirror).
2. Nakowa peeps that come to Facebook with studio pics in that ka Kampala village pose of crossing the legs and the arms on the laps with those bu Chinese river/stream backgrounds. Ain’t U photogenic enough? Why do U have to prepare for a photograph ... we want to see you in your natural self.
3. Twakowa all those that romance in taxis.
4. The way Sylvia Owori puts bu models in her glossy magazine and then adds “Top:85,000Ushs” when the top is 6k in the basement of Mutaasa Kafeero. Twakowa ababbi.
5. Twakowa NRM, MTN, NSSF, KIGGUNDU, MBABAZI, SEKIKUBO, KUTEESA, BODA BODA MU KAMPALA ne SEBAGGALA.
6. Sikaakyi naye enyimba ze ki protestant zikoya.....oba ku nyimbe oba mbaga oba Christmas....the same songs.....nebikusobela! (Why are Protestant hymns so boring and unvarying; the same songs are sung at funerals, weddings and in Christmas services. I’m fed up.)
7. Twakowa ebinigeria esp the scenes nga they are opening the gate for the car to come in. Ako ka part bwebakasalako movie tebelawo? (We are tired of Nigerian movies, especially the scene where the guards are opening the gate for cars to enter. Can’t the movie proceed if that part is cut out?)
8. Chicks with big feet. We even fail to buy you fitting shoes because we know females have small feet.
9. Old NRM politicians who have no retirement in their vocabulary! Maria Mutagamba,Sam Kutesa, Namirembe Bitamazire, Amama Mbabazi, Sevo etc. I’m so tired!
10. Radio presenters who pretend they can’t speak Luganda!!! Someone calls speaking Luganda and the fool answers in English..... Touch FM presenters style up. You should know better what the white man thinks of us.
11. Muslim names like Maimuna, Asirafu and Afuwa etc.
12. Twakowa the new 1k notes which get old quickly!!!
13. The word “Wolokoso” nakyo nkikoye. (I’m fed up of the word wolokoso.)
14. Nakowa people who are always telling me that I’m small. Munveko, (leave me alone) you think I want to have city tyres, drooling bums, legs like pestles, fresh diary and no neck. No thanks so keep the crap to yourself. Nakowa…
15. Twakowa all that stuff I hear mbu Hidden Passion, La Tormenta.... What the hell?
16. The guy seated behind me on a taxi is koyaring me with Ronald Mayinja’s ziki...kale ankoyeza nyo nyo (The guy behind me is tiring me with Ronald Mayinja’s music). A follow-up comment told her to buy her own car.
17. Twakowa writing nonsense. Can’t you guys write sense like twakowa bad roads instead of twakowa neighbours having sex in the morning, chicks who are ugly! If you are tired of ugly chicks on earth go to a planet of only beautiful gals...
18. Nkoye those bu girls who carry big handbags yet there is only a hankie n’ Shs700. Even abayaye (thieves) no longer snatch your ga-bags because they know.
19. Some dudes and babes be having like 1000+ buddies on Facebook, you might even think they are celebs and stuff but how come I don’t know them. I suppose they be sending friend requests to everyone and accepting each all day.
20. Twakowa Kahinda Otafiire. Mbu I have the capacity to start a war and stop it! Silly.
21. Nakowa bu emails mbu “if you do not send to nine people something bad will happen to simanyi “if you are not ashamed of Jesus send to 20 people.” Ebintu sibya kukaka (Don’t force people).
22. AAAAAAAAAGGNES NAAANDUTU NNNtv news, Tukoye.
23. The word is Love! What the hell is lv, luv, lov? Well, maybe better, I dunno! I feel like it is bicupuli (fake) love when it is misspelt! I Love English!!
24. Banange nkoye Ugandan wanabbe Rastafarians and artistes who speak silly Jamaican patois; it sucks....Kati Butchaman biki byeyayimba mu Inna De Dance? (What’s that Butchaman was singing ‘Inna De Dance’?) Silly nbakoye.
25. Twakowa abantu abalina ssente ezigula omwenge ogwa mitwalo kumi naye nga tebasobola kugula deodorant ya kanana! (I’m tired of men who spend over Shs100,000 in bars, but can’t sacrifice Shs8,000 to buy a deodorant.)
26. Nze nakowa bu fake chaps/chicks who go “outside countries” for two weeks & come back with heavier accents than the bazungus. Grow up u show offs!!!!
27. I’ve kukowad this chick who is ever borrowing my cousin’s charger. Since last semester, borrowing, borrowing, borrowing.... Even during the long holiday, she did not buy one but still keraz (comes early) at our door to borrow a charger. Ye oba yabaki (What’s wrong with her)?
28. Nakowa men with small, feminine voices... Bambi, it’s not your fault but still nakowa.
About the author
I got the Twakowa article through mail. It is hard to know the real author
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2. Nakowa peeps that come to Facebook with studio pics in that ka Kampala village pose of crossing the legs and the arms on the laps with those bu Chinese river/stream backgrounds. Ain’t U photogenic enough? Why do U have to prepare for a photograph ... we want to see you in your natural self.
3. Twakowa all those that romance in taxis.
4. The way Sylvia Owori puts bu models in her glossy magazine and then adds “Top:85,000Ushs” when the top is 6k in the basement of Mutaasa Kafeero. Twakowa ababbi.
5. Twakowa NRM, MTN, NSSF, KIGGUNDU, MBABAZI, SEKIKUBO, KUTEESA, BODA BODA MU KAMPALA ne SEBAGGALA.
6. Sikaakyi naye enyimba ze ki protestant zikoya.....oba ku nyimbe oba mbaga oba Christmas....the same songs.....nebikusobela! (Why are Protestant hymns so boring and unvarying; the same songs are sung at funerals, weddings and in Christmas services. I’m fed up.)
7. Twakowa ebinigeria esp the scenes nga they are opening the gate for the car to come in. Ako ka part bwebakasalako movie tebelawo? (We are tired of Nigerian movies, especially the scene where the guards are opening the gate for cars to enter. Can’t the movie proceed if that part is cut out?)
8. Chicks with big feet. We even fail to buy you fitting shoes because we know females have small feet.
9. Old NRM politicians who have no retirement in their vocabulary! Maria Mutagamba,Sam Kutesa, Namirembe Bitamazire, Amama Mbabazi, Sevo etc. I’m so tired!
10. Radio presenters who pretend they can’t speak Luganda!!! Someone calls speaking Luganda and the fool answers in English..... Touch FM presenters style up. You should know better what the white man thinks of us.
11. Muslim names like Maimuna, Asirafu and Afuwa etc.
12. Twakowa the new 1k notes which get old quickly!!!
13. The word “Wolokoso” nakyo nkikoye. (I’m fed up of the word wolokoso.)
14. Nakowa people who are always telling me that I’m small. Munveko, (leave me alone) you think I want to have city tyres, drooling bums, legs like pestles, fresh diary and no neck. No thanks so keep the crap to yourself. Nakowa…
15. Twakowa all that stuff I hear mbu Hidden Passion, La Tormenta.... What the hell?
16. The guy seated behind me on a taxi is koyaring me with Ronald Mayinja’s ziki...kale ankoyeza nyo nyo (The guy behind me is tiring me with Ronald Mayinja’s music). A follow-up comment told her to buy her own car.
17. Twakowa writing nonsense. Can’t you guys write sense like twakowa bad roads instead of twakowa neighbours having sex in the morning, chicks who are ugly! If you are tired of ugly chicks on earth go to a planet of only beautiful gals...
18. Nkoye those bu girls who carry big handbags yet there is only a hankie n’ Shs700. Even abayaye (thieves) no longer snatch your ga-bags because they know.
19. Some dudes and babes be having like 1000+ buddies on Facebook, you might even think they are celebs and stuff but how come I don’t know them. I suppose they be sending friend requests to everyone and accepting each all day.
20. Twakowa Kahinda Otafiire. Mbu I have the capacity to start a war and stop it! Silly.
21. Nakowa bu emails mbu “if you do not send to nine people something bad will happen to simanyi “if you are not ashamed of Jesus send to 20 people.” Ebintu sibya kukaka (Don’t force people).
22. AAAAAAAAAGGNES NAAANDUTU NNNtv news, Tukoye.
23. The word is Love! What the hell is lv, luv, lov? Well, maybe better, I dunno! I feel like it is bicupuli (fake) love when it is misspelt! I Love English!!
24. Banange nkoye Ugandan wanabbe Rastafarians and artistes who speak silly Jamaican patois; it sucks....Kati Butchaman biki byeyayimba mu Inna De Dance? (What’s that Butchaman was singing ‘Inna De Dance’?) Silly nbakoye.
25. Twakowa abantu abalina ssente ezigula omwenge ogwa mitwalo kumi naye nga tebasobola kugula deodorant ya kanana! (I’m tired of men who spend over Shs100,000 in bars, but can’t sacrifice Shs8,000 to buy a deodorant.)
26. Nze nakowa bu fake chaps/chicks who go “outside countries” for two weeks & come back with heavier accents than the bazungus. Grow up u show offs!!!!
27. I’ve kukowad this chick who is ever borrowing my cousin’s charger. Since last semester, borrowing, borrowing, borrowing.... Even during the long holiday, she did not buy one but still keraz (comes early) at our door to borrow a charger. Ye oba yabaki (What’s wrong with her)?
28. Nakowa men with small, feminine voices... Bambi, it’s not your fault but still nakowa.
About the author
I got the Twakowa article through mail. It is hard to know the real author
